~i am where i am supposed to be. and that is all that matters~

All the little details from names of kings to relationships between ancient lands:

how an obese king was stabbed in the stomach

what plagues the Lord sent over Israel

how many sheep are to be paid back when stolen

that the soldiers would cast lots for the Messiah’s clothing

that a nation would face destruction and be exiled from their land

how a donkey spoke to his master

how a young boy took down a giant with a slingshot and pebbles

that a strong fortress came tumbling down at the shout of mere voices

predicting justice years before it reigned

parting seas so that the middle ground was dry to walk across

the building directions for a boat that was to carry the only righteous man in the land

how a king over many nations came to eat grass in the wilderness for seven years…

The list goes on and on. God filled the Bible with so many details not that we might doubt, but that He may be proved as a solid foundation.

If one detail, such as that no nation named Assyria had existed, the rest of the Bible would fall apart.

Yet God, out His excellent mercy, included detail after detail. He left no room to have made a mistake.

At first I thought that being a Christian might have meant laying down my questions or doubts and just going with the flow.

But as I dive into His word I find that any question I can fathom will be answered, as long as I look. As long as I’m looking for truth, I will always end up at the source who is Truth.

I need not fear, for God is confident in what He declares, and thus, so am I.

And that declaration is one of sheer love.

The easiest thing to do at a place like Wheaton College is to compare yourself to everyone.

The hardest thing for me to be is humble.

Lately my prayer has been, “God, I pray I would learn to humble myself so You don’t have to do it for me.”

A few weeks ago I went to prison.

Out of all the ministry experiences I’ve been a part of throughout my life, this was the most potent and sobering.

Walking from cell to cell, I prayed for the inmates, feeling their consummate pain for only a few brief minutes.

I learned that these men sit in their cells for twenty-three hours a day.

They are allowed two thirty minute periods of exercise per week.

They get one shower a week, in front of armed guards.

I was overwhelmed by how much of a brat I have been, and still am.

When I walked out of that prison full of gray bars which held captive so many, and breathed in the first breath of stifling cold air, I realized what it meant to be free.

I looked up at the sky, I smelled the crisp trees, I walked to the car, I smiled, I laughed, I did whatever I wanted to do because nothing was holding me back.

That’s how God wants us to see what He’s done for us.

He set us free from eternal prison that makes the Stateville Correctional Center look like a spa, so that we might live in freedom.

Why don’t we rejoice?

Sin is no longer our master!

For we no longer live under the requirements of the law!

Instead, we live in the freedom of God’s grace!

So I pray that as I learn to humble myself, we all might learn to rejoice.

For He has truly set us free!!!

Just saying, he has a point.

I need to remember that obeying God is an act of worship,

and I was made to worship.

I wasn’t made to be in control.

I’m maturing.

Slowly but surely.

Learning to be more like Job, and less like, well, me.

“Everything has already been decided.

It was known long ago what each person would be.

So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny”

(Ecclesiastes 6:10)

I am not perfect.

Ha, ha, I know you’re all probably laughing. But seriously…

God is not finished with me.

I am still growing; in constant forward motion towards my Prize.

Towards my King.

How could I ever have thought for even one second that He was finished?

God can work in our lives in any moment; teaching us things in any situation.

We just need the humility to recognize Him moving.

God is humbling me in massive ways here at Wheaton College. But clearly it is something that I desperately need (I know, you’re all laughing again).

But I am His. He is working in and through me.

What an awesome God.

when you’re in a place like wheaton college, it is often difficult to not feel useless.

to not feel inadequate.

to not be in way over your head.

and sometimes i have to ask myself, why the heck am i even here?

but then i remember.  oh, yeah.  it wasn’t anything i did to get here.  rather it was all a part of god’s plan for my life.

god wants me here.

whether i know why doesn’t matter.

what matters is that i showed up.

i showed up and now it’s god who’s going to work the miracles.

nothing i can do will change that.

nothing i have is my own.

not even my talents, or the lack thereof.

“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong”  (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

here’s a reality check–

life is fragile.

we’re not guaranteed anything.

not even the next breath.

each second counts.

each decision we make matters.

how we spend our time is crucial.

time is running out.

and when it does, are you going to be able to say that you made the most of yours?

what if your time ended today?

what if it ended right now?

would you have made a difference?

“Lord , remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
  Remind me that my days are numbered—
  how fleeting my life is.
 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
  My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
  at best, each of us is but a breath.” (Psalm 39:4-5)

don’t hold your breath.

ever feel trapped by a certain behavior?

one that makes you feel like basic crap?

that no matter what you try to do or how you try to fix it, you can never change?

or worse, have you merely accepted it because that is who you think you are?

we are god’s MASTERPIECE.

he didn’t try to make us ridiculously awesome and then mess up.

god can’t mess up.

everything he does is excellent.

everything he makes is excellent.

he made us.

we are excellent.

we are holy.

not on the path to piety.

this is who we are.

NOW.

“Let us live up to what we have already attained.” (Philippians 3:16)

we are already sacred.

i pray that we would be able to see ourselves that way.  the way that god already sees us.

i pray that we would live up to what we have already procured in christ. each and every moment of everyday.

a summer in mexico.

it was merely another chapter in my book.

but it’s one that i will not be soon to forget. because it taught me the most important thing about my life’s book:

it’s

not

about

me.

how could it ever have been? i’m just an extra in a movie, someone you catch the slightest glimpse of.

but god was.

he is.

and is to come.

how could it be about me?

life is so much bigger than just me and my momentary needs.

it’s about loving god.

loving the ones that he created.

it has never been about me.

PRAISE GOD.

“Praise the Lord, all you nations.

Praise him, all you people of the earth.

For he loves us with unfailing love;  the Lord ‘s faithfulness endures forever.

Praise the Lord!”  (Psalm 117)

we have to do everything without complaining?

…i think that was a complaint in itself.

complaining comes from being selfish and desiring our own personal gain.

and i’ll be the first one to admit that i’m a chronic selfish complainer.

when things don’t go my way, i like to point out the obvious:  i’m not happy.

but i was challenged a little while ago. someone said to me, “everything you say is either a plus or a minus. it either brings glory to god, or it doesn’t. and your minuses are far outweighing your pluses.”

when we surrender ourselves to christ, there becomes a greater purpose to life than just our own momentary comfort. our purpose is to serve the ultimate reality:  God.

everything i say matters. everything i do matters.  i am a witness whether i like it or not.

i am saved. i am set free. so what else truly matters?

time to STOP complaining.

“Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.” (Philippians 2:14-18)